Thursday, July 10, 2008

"Ripped From The Headlines''

Well, we had the quarterly meeting of the Board of Directors for this blog this afternoon and big changes are in the works, let me tell ya.
The biggest change will be an additional feature, a commentary on stories “ripped from the headlines of today’s news.‘’ That used to be a promo used on the TV show “Law And Order.‘’ Very dramatic, huh?
The board, in case you are wondering, consists of me and the other residents who live on the property, all of whom happen to be horses.
Anyway, the vote for six in favor, none opposed, with Bernie the draft horse abstaining in favor of hogging all the alfalfa while the rest of us discussed the idea.
I’m not sure how often I’ll do this: Fortunately, the board has given me great latitude on the content of this site, mainly because none of them ever read it anyway.
“Man caught with Cocaine in Shoe”
A Chandler man was arrested Thursday after police said he was supporting a lifestyle based on drug sales in the presence of small children.
Rene Saul Arrieta, 27, was arrested at Dobson and Elliot roads Thursday after police said they found approximately 2 ounces of cocaine inside his shoes while he was in the presence of four children between the ages of 1 and 9.
COMMENTARY: Gellin’ like a felon. Literally.
“Gilbert Woman To Be On Big Brother 10’’
A woman from the Higley area of Gilbert made the cast for the 10th season of CBS's Big Brother that premieres Sunday.
April Dowling, 30, is a financial manager for a car dealership, and according to the show's Web site, is obsessive-compulsive and can't sleep unless the bottles in the refrigerator are lined up correctly.
COMMENTARY: I did some further research on this story and discovered that this woman is very blonde and, uh, busty, to put it delicately. Shocking, huh?
I think it’s wonderful that we have someone from our own backyard joining this cesspool of a show. I am wondering now how long she will maintain her virtue. My guess: She’ll be deflowered by the second commercial break, if past shows are any barometer.
If you know this woman's parents, good taste dictates that you avoid the subject altogether when in their presence.

“Sheriff Won’t Be Deterred By Graffiti Incident’’
Sheriff Joe Arpaio says the Mesa graffiti incident won't hold him back from doing his job.
Graffiti of Arpaio's head and the words "Nazi Joe" were recently spotted on several buildings in downtown Mesa.
"There hasn't been one elected official to step up and say 'they shouldn't be saying these things about our Sheriff' regardless of what they believe," Arpaio said. "Where is everybody? For me, no one cares."
COMMENTARY: It’s a comfort to know that Joe’s single-handed mission to Make The World Safe For Inhumanity will not be impeded by the presence of his name on some cinder block walls in Mesa. Quite frankly, I would expect nothing less from “The Toughest Human Being Who Ever Lived” or whatever title he claims for himself these days.
I suspect Joe is already brushing back the tears (For me, no one cares!) and making plans for another massive assault in an effort to get those dangerous hotel maids off the streets.

The real news here is that Joe’s name wasn’t already on all those cinder block walls to begin with. Look around: Everything in the county seems to have Joe’s name on it. If he ever leaves office , it’s going to cost the county about a zillion dollars to take his name off everything.


GOOD NIGHT! And remember, if you can read this blog, thank a teacher. If you can read this blog in English, thank a soldier. If you can read this blog in English and Arabic, thank Barack Obama.

1 comment:

Keith said...

Hey! I like Obama. :-)

But I can't read Arabic.